54. The Great Reorganization

Join me this week as I share what’s REALLY happening when we’re doing something new and everything feels terrible. 

I promise it is not what you think!

  • What the Great Reorganization means – and the exact cycle so you know what to expect
  • What things are happening beneath what you can see
  • How all of this relates to believing you ‘should be further along’ that you currently are

The absolute best thing you can take away is this: when everything feels terrible (BECAUSE you are moving towards something new), remember that all of your shit is being reorganized so you have the bandwidth and capacity to have what you are creating.

You will still feel uncomfortable at times, even when you know what to expect, but knowing what’s happening gives you much more choice over your experience.

Episode links:

  • Want to begin a journaling habit? The Daily Writing Prompts are supportive and thoughtful prompts to discover what you believe is possible for youwhat you want, and what’s in the way right now. Learn more HERE
  • Want some support in getting quiet and tuning into what you’re thinking about, or what’s calling to you, today? Go to www.jenmoulton.com/newsletter and sign up to get my completely free Intuitive Creation Audio. You’ll receive my unique process to reliably tap in BEFORE you make any creative work so you can overcome procrastination, overwhelm, and where-do-i-start-itis.

If you enjoy listening, please subscribe, rate and review, and forward this episode to a friend who would benefit from it too.

Let’s become a generation of creative women who are examples for the people in our lives of what it looks like to prioritize our work (AND recognize our impact).

x, Jen

Full episode transcript below:

Welcome to today's episode, The Great Reorganization. 

I want to talk to you today about what I would call a phenomenon. One that I think we all experience and when we're in it we think something is terribly wrong. 

Here's what it looks like. 

We make a decision to move towards something. Maybe it's a goal, a project, a relationship, a big, or a small life change. And it feels great. It feels amazing. To have clarity and to have made a decision or commit to something and be moving towards it. That great feeling lasts for a little bit. It depends on how long. 

But then, then shit starts hitting the fan. Everything feels terrible. And it feels like absolutely nothing is working. And here's the worst part, in my opinion. 

When you committed to the new thing, whatever it is for you, you started swimming away from a familiar, comfortable shore I'm going to say, like an island. For like imagery purposes. And you started swimming into an unknown expanse of sea, the ocean. 

And at first it feels amazing. It feels great. You're swimming and you're like, this is awesome. I'm making progress. I know what I'm doing. And then at a certain point, that's the variable piece when it happens, but it does happen. You start to have that holy shit feeling. 

And for imagery purposes, what it looks like is you've swum too far away to go back to where you were, ie you outgrew where you were,  but you are swimming in new seas and you have no idea what to expect. Nothing feels comfortable or familiar. And you can't quite see where you're going to end up yet. 

And you just have to keep swimming. I think that's the worst part because your brain is going to be screaming at you to pursue familiarity. To go back to what was. But you can't go back because you outgrew it. And all you can do is move towards what's next. 

What's next is actually amazing. But you can't know that yet. Right now you're freaking the F out. Wondering if everything will eventually be okay. And will it actually work out? 

I'm wondering if this sounds familiar to you. Because it does to me. And in fact, I've done this so many times that I now see it as a very predictable cycle. And that's why I want to share this with you today. 

Even though I know this is what growth looks like, I still flail around and spend a lot of time wishing I could go back - go back to the shore that I left, the comfortable island. I'm not sure you might be able to hear my dog in the background. He just. He's just enjoying life right now. 

But I think you don't really want to go back, right? You only want to go back because it's comfortable. Not because you want to go back to what was. 

It is hard to choose discomfort which is one of the costs of growth. We know this. But I think that this is why we're here. Us humans are driven to grow and shift and reach for what's next for us. We can't seem to help ourselves. And I know from experience that staying put actually feels way, way, way, way worse. 

This cycle that I'm talking about is what I have come to refer to as The Great Reorganization. 

When you were doing something new for the first time, things are happening outside of what you can actually see. You might be working on a new project, you're learning a new skill, doing something for the first time. And it feels like crap a lot of the time. 

And here's why: what we're talking about, you are being reorganized. Literally some of your internal parts are being shifted, moved around, surveyed, reorganized, and maybe transformed. 

There is so much more that's happening than what we realize. 

I think a lot of us have a negative inner narrative that says things like, this should be easier for me. Why am I doing this to myself? Why can't I just be content with what I had? That's a big one that I hear a lot. And I have definitely said that. Like, why can't I just be satisfied? 

The part that feels like garbage is this reorganization that we're talking about. Our brains do not like change. They want us to keep doing what we know that works forever and ever, the end. Even if it means staying smaller than what we feel called to be.  Even if it means losing out on incredible life experiences. And especially if it means putting ourselves quote at risk, literal or metaphorical, our brains will choose the same old, same old, instead of putting us at risk, staying small, missing out on new experiences.

That is the, the garbage, the piece that feels like garbage because really what's happening is it's dissonance. Right? It's cognitive dissonance. You know you're moving towards something, you don't yet see evidence that it's working, that it's gonna work out, that things are gonna fall into place. And so your brain starts freaking out because the dissonance between where you are and where you're going, it doesn't, it's not clear yet. It doesn't feel safe or predictable yet. That's why you feel like this garbage-y you feeling.  And we have this like very loud inner narrative that definitely fuels that. 

Another way that The Great Reorganization shows up is by judging what your process looks like. I think we know about creative process, but I also think if we zoom out that we all have a life process, we are all on our own paths and meant to be having our own experiences and growth cycles. And lives. We're all meant to have a unique life, not to like, do what we've seen other people do.  

And we interrupt that unique path of our own when we judge ourselves, when we don't pursue what we feel called to do, when we consult other people or ask them to tell us what to do or what they did, when we try to follow a path that is not ours, that is meant for someone else. 

How I see this, and have heard, this is some version of quote "this is taking too long".  It might sound like I should be better at this already, I should be farther along, I should have more to show for xyz. 

And here's one, like here's the most major thing I've learned is that things often take way, way longer than we want them to, and think they should. 

And because of this internal judgemental narrative that I'm talking about, a lot of times people will give up. Because they believe what their brain is screaming at them- danger, this is not okay, you're not going to survive this. 

Doing something new or for the first time? Time always takes the longest, is the most uncomfortable, and requires the most faith. Because you don't have any experience to fall back on. You have no nervous system wiring to guide you. 

You're showing up, you're doing what you know based on your hunches and your inner callings, trusting yourself over external authorities, and you're not always seeing a yield from your effort yet. 

And you still have to show up and keep showing up and believing that you are going to get there. That's the cognitive dissonance piece too. When you're not seeing outputs from your inputs yet. Yet being the key word, because if you keep going and keep following your callings, keep following what you feel is important for you, you will see those outputs from your inputs. 

And as a side note, I've said this in other episodes, I think that when we're not seeing outputs from our inputs - when we're not seeing the results or the yield from everything that we're harvesting - I believe that that means that there's more for you to learn. 

That you haven't quite learned something yet and so you're just like learning this lesson over and over and over again until you were like, so over it. But it's just not time for you yet. There's still more for you to learn. Still more wisdom for you to gain in the space that you're in. 

The way that you create amazing things and this unique life that is just yours, that there is no blueprint for you to follow is by doing what I just said: showing up, doing what, you know, based on your own hunches, what you feel called to do usually only know the next step that's right in front of you you do not have a map of everything, keeping with it when you're not yet seeing any yield from your efforts or any results from your efforts. And continuing to show up, you know, laying it brick by brick every day and believing in yourself, believing that you're going to figure it out. Believing that what you are gaining, whether you see external results for it or not is still so valuable for you. 

Often, this looks like continuing to show up for yourself and whatever you're working on when it feels like nothing is happening, when it feels like everything is going wrong, and when it feels like you just can't take it anymore or take it any longer. 

When you're experiencing that, here's what I want you to know.  Things are happening. This is the most important thing, if you get anything from this episode, please listen to this: all of your shit is being reorganized so that you have the bandwidth and the capacity to have what you are creating. I'm going to repeat that. All of your shit is being reorganized so that you have the bandwidth and the capacity to have what you are creating. 

I can almost guarantee that whatever you are thinking about right now as I'm talking about this, whatever you're wanting, whatever you're working on, if it was handed to you right now you would not have the nervous system capacity to have it or maintain it. I can, I would almost bet on it. 

I know that might be hard to hear. And I know you might be like, no, of course I'm ready for it. I have just seen this. I've seen it, you know, I'm patient zero. I've seen it in myself for sure. But I've seen in other people too. If we don't have the capacity for something we need to gain it, we need to earn it. 

And often that looks like a pretty uncomfortable experience. It's individual, so I can't say exactly, but it's what I'm talking about here. You commit to something you're excited and then  shit starts hitting the fan and everything feels terrible. And then if you stick with it, eventually your capacity grows, your resilience grows, your expertise grows, your wisdom grows. Like you become the person that can have, or hold the thing that you're actually working towards. 

I believe that more than anything on this planet. I've really come to believe that: that we are always being developed for the things that we want and the things that are coming our way. And to trust the process, even when it feels like garbage. And it usually does feel like garbage. 

The process that I'm talking about, this Great Reorganization, is incredibly uncomfortable. I am not going to like sugarcoat that. 

It feels like something is terribly wrong, and it kind of feels like you might die if you keep doing it. 

But you won't. And I know, you know this from past stuff. You've definitely lived through this before. You are creating something amazing. And no matter what you are actually creating, literally speaking, no matter what project you're working on, no matter what you are working on having in your life, pursuing,etc., the most important thing of all of this, is that you are building your capacity and resilience as a human being. 

And that will serve you no matter what you do. So if you're like hell bent on this goal that you have, which I totally understand that, I am like that too, sometimes things don't work out  the way that we think they're going to. Sometimes  things don't fit in our life the way that we think they're going to. 

But it's not all a loss if you are appreciating yourself and all of the skills and qualities that you developed in the process of creating and attaining the thing that you're working towards. 

The world needs you to become the person who creates and expresses what is on your heart. To become everything that you envision being. 

And yes, you need to take physical action in order to create it. But you also need to become the next evolution of yourself. And that - the next evolution of yourself - is The Great Reorganization. It feels terrible, but it is truly amazing when you think about it. What a gift   it is to be alive and to evolve. 

I am so glad that you were here and then we get to walk our paths together. See you next time. Same time, same place. Bye for now.


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