Have you noticed there’s an [unknown] delay between getting results from your efforts? We never know how long it’s going to take – to see results from our efforts. It takes the time it takes. We often have opinions about how long we think something should take and that attachment to a timeline causes suffering. Join me where I show you a different perspective (one where there’s nothing wrong with things taking time).
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why we don’t know how long it will take to see results from our efforts
- The problem with having expectations about what our efforts will get us
- A wonderful, ripe garden analogy (pun intended!)
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x, Jen
Full episode transcript below:
Welcome to episode three, the delay between effort and result. I've been thinking lately about the delay between effort and result. The reality is that we never know how long it's going to take to see results from our efforts. It takes the time it takes. We often have opinions about how long we think something should take, and that attachment to a timeline causes us a lot of suffering. Most people, and this makes sense because we are wired this way, I expect it to be transactional. I do this and I get this in return. And implied is I get this in short order. Or I get it immediately, which is, I think what we all secretly are thinking. One of the problems with this thinking is that if you don't get the results you expect, when you expect them for most of us, again, this means immediately, then we believe something is wrong with us or with our project or with another person. We believe it's not working. We lose our curiosity and presence and go into blame mode. Or maybe even to attacking ourselves. From there, it is very common to believe that you're not someone who can do it. Like, you're not someone who can make this project a real thing, and so you shift gears and maybe begin a new project. The reality is that we just don't know how long some things take. And we don't need to take that personally. And we don't need to make it mean anything about ourselves and our abilities and our talents and our worthiness. I think, you, I think you catch my drift. Sometimes things fall into place smoother and easier than we expect. And sometimes things can take years to realize. The alternative is that we can surrender to the idea that we don't know how long it will take and be here for the ride. This allows us to enjoy the ride more and release some of the demand and pressure we are exerting to get a return right away. If you're one of my clients, you know, that I love garden analogies. They are just to ripe. Pun intended. I love to think about a parable I heard once about a farmer. Once he sows his seeds, he doesn't dig them up constantly to check and make sure they're growing. AKA returning a yield. He does his part. He plants them, fertilizes them. Waters them. And then there's a layer of trust and surrender that the seeds are doing what they need to do. That a majority of them will yield a return, meaning that they will sprout. There's a predictable ish timeline but it varies based on weather, soil conditions, water, the seeds themselves, et cetera. And some of the seeds will never sprout. We can learn so much from this parable. What might be different for you if you had that level of trust and belief? That if you nurture this idea and keep showing up, that eventually you will get the results that you desire? And what about the possibility that there's nothing wrong with things taking time? What do you think about that? I want to share my favorite question to ask myself and my clients when I, or they are feeling rushed. The question is this. What do I think getting there will get me? How do I think I will feel? The answers to those questions or why you are feeling rushed. It's really good to know that that's what you're wanting. That's what you're trying to get to faster. Once, you know what you're wanting, what you're trying to get sooner, what you're craving what you're desiring to have, now, which is usually a feeling, then you can begin to look for that experience right now. Exactly where you are on your journey. I am so glad that you're here and that we get to walk our paths together. See you next week, same time, same place. Bye for now.
