Episode 04: The Reason We Do Anything

Do you know WHY you want the things you want? Do you know what is driving you to seek accomplishment and succeed? Join me this week as I show you the reason why we want the things we want, and where your power is. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • WHY we do anything that we do
  • WHY we want what we want
  • How getting the things we want will never create what we think it will

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x, Jen

Full episode transcript below:

Welcome to today's episode. The reason we do anything.

Have you ever stopped and thought about why you want something? Like really thought about it. Maybe even kept asking yourself why over and over. So curious about why you want the thing you want. If you haven't done this, I encourage you to do it. After you finished listening, it's super powerful and clarifying. For now let's talk about an example. Most people will tell you that they want more money. If you ask them why they'll say something like, because I want to retire early. Or I want to renovate my house or I want to go on a big vacation. But why do they want those things? Like, why do they really want those things? We rarely spend time figuring out why we really want the things we want.

And today I'm going to tell you why I think we want anything. I think that this always goes to one place. And the place that it goes to is it's because of how we think we'll feel when we have, or get what we want. Bring something to mind that you currently want and ask yourself, why do I want this? Whatever your answer. Ask yourself why again? Ask it over and over. See if you end up at a feeling that you want to feel. If you do end up at a feeling make note of it, it's really important information for you. Here's what I believe.

I believe that the reason we do what we do and want what we want is because of how we think we will feel when we get it. Let's say you want to be commissioned to illustrate a book. The reason why you want that next book illustration project might be because you want the income. And you might stop there, like, yep, I just want that income. But why do you want that income? You may go through some more reasons, so I can do this. So then I'd be able to do this for someone else. But at the end of it, you might end up realizing that what you really want to feel is proud of yourself. Or let's say you want to launch an e-commerce shop and sell your art products. You likely are motivated to do so for the income and maybe for the recognition that you desire. Why do you want the income and the recognition? Because you think that you'll feel accomplished? The reason why you want to make a certain amount of money this year from your creative work might actually be because you want to feel legitimate. The reason why you want to create your next big goal, whatever that might be for you, is because you think you might feel ,successful or even like a legitimate creative. Maybe you want to prove to yourself that you can do it so that you can feel proud and accomplished. The reason why you want more money is because you think then you will finally feel abundant. Do you notice a theme here?

When we keep digging on our goals and we keep asking ourselves, why, why do I want this? Why do I really want this? We will almost always, I have not encountered a time when I haven't, but I'll say almost always, end up coming to a feeling that we want to feel. Now that we've chatted through that I want to tell you something. So important. None of those things will make you feel anything. None of those things will make you feel anything. What makes you feel proud? Legitimate, successful, creative, abundant, insert your desired emotion here, is your interpretation of getting the thing you want.

It's what you think about yourself, it's the story you tell yourself, your interpretation, that causes you to feel proud, legitimate, successful, abundant, insert whatever emotion here. When, you know this, it makes sense why you might feel in a rush to achieve your goals. You're in a rush because you want to feel relief from maybe some negative feelings that you're currently feeling. Again, because of your interpretation. We want to feel the emotions that we desire. The ones that I'm using right now are proud, legitimate, creative, successful, abundant, insert whatever emotion you want. As well. We do not want to feel self doubt, fear, shame, and incompetent discouraged, et cetera. Here's where our power is. We feel the emotions we feel because of what we believe. What we tell ourselves about ourselves. It is so, so important to become aware of what you believe about yourself. It is the very best gift you can give to yourself. To begin to become aware of the story you believe about yourself. It makes a lot of sense that we feel terrible when we believe things about ourselves like: I'm not successful yet. I'm not legitimate enough yet. I am not abundant enough yet. I'm not good enough yet. I want to wrap this up by planting a seed that we will revisit in the future. There is no reason to be in a rush to get there. There being wherever you're currently working towards.

So often we think there is better than here. That when we get there, when we've accomplished our current goal, whatever we're thinking about, we believe that when we're there, it will feel less bad than here, where we currently are. The reality is that we will always feel the spectrum of human emotions. And it's how we engage in dialogue with ourselves and our human experience that matters. Stay tuned for the next episode where we will consider if your passion project or business or whatever project you're daydreaming about would want to be your friend. It sounds funny, but it's my favorite way to assess how you're showing up in your work.

I am so glad you are here and that we get to walk our paths together. See you next week, same time, same place. Bye for now.

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