Episode 10: Being Okay with Not Knowing

Join me this week as I share what to do when you’re feeling pressure (or desire) to make a decision or have information that you don’t yet have.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why you need to normalize NOT KNOWING
  • What I do when I feel pressure (or desire) to make a decision or have information that I don’t yet have.
  • How to identify the felt experience in your body (so you can return to it in the future)

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x, Jen

Full episode transcript below:

Welcome to today's episode Being okay with not knowing. This episode is for my fellow hesitators and overthinkers. 

Let's normalize not knowing. Not knowing is totally normal and can be a very enriching experience when you allow yourself to be in it.  It is not very pleasant when you fight it. The key is believing that you don't know- YET- rather than I don't know and that means I'll never know. And that means this isn't possible for me. And I think we all know where that line of thinking goes. 

 I wanna share a thought that I come back to when I'm feeling pressure or desire to make a decision or have information that I don't yet have. 

 Here's the thought. I don't know right now but when it's time I'll know.

So good. Right? 

In that thought is a willingness to allow things to take the time they're going to take. Which they're going to take that time anyway. Our choice is in how we choose to experience the time it takes. We don't often have much say in things taking less time, but we do have a, lot of choice in how we choose to be with ourselves while things are taking the time they take. 

To me, this thought is a reminder to sit back and trust and wait for an answer or information or the next step to arise. 

It shows me that I don't need to know, or to effort, or to try hard to figure something out. That the information will come when it's time. 

I also wanna normalize being in an unknown space. And holding space while our minds freak the F out, and demand answers, right this very minute. Thrashing against the sometimes terrifying unknown. Instead of being in that experience - like the thrashing experience and  like freaking out, we can instead give ourselves the gift of space and just be present with it. 

In the gift of not knowing, for now. If you aren't fighting against it. What is the experience actually like?  

There doesn't need to be a rush to find an answer, figure it out yesterday, know with all the certainty in the world, or to make a decision right now in order to avoid feeling some discomfort. 

We can choose this despite what we are told, conditioned to believe, and what our brains tell us loudly and with increasing frequency- which is often that we needed to have an answer like yesterday. 

So let's review. My very favorite belief, that I often repeat to myself especially when I'm feeling pressure to know what I don't yet know is, I don't know right now but when it's time I'll know. 

What does it feel like to settle into the place of believing that? How does your body respond?  Be there for a minute and see if you can code the felt experience into your body. 

If you do that right now for just a minute, you'll have that felt experience to come back to. It's like taking a snapshot of this experience so that your mind knows how to find it next time. 

 Okay. That's what I have for you today.  I am so glad you are here and that we get to walk our paths together. See you next time, same time, same place. By for now. 

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