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Episode 08. It’s Better When You Don’t Know HOW

Join me this week as I share a personal episode reflecting on 18 years of making decisions based on following my intuition.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Some of my favorite life experiences that I made happen for myself
  • How the best experiences in life are ones we don’t plan for
  • How wishing for a clear plan for how to do each step actually limits your potential

If you want to learn how to make your passion project idea a REAL THING, click here and sign up to get the Creative Momentum workbook. You’ll learn how to plan your passion project in seven easy steps.

If you enjoy listening, please subscribe, rate and review, and forward this episode to a friend who would benefit from it too.

Let’s become a generation of creative women who are examples for the people in our lives of what it looks like to prioritize our work (AND recognize our impact).

x, Jen

Full episode transcript below:

Welcome to today's episode. It's better when you don't know how. This is a bit of a personal episode as I am celebrating my 10 year wedding anniversary. And nearing 18 years, half of my life, from when I took my very first chance based on an intuitive decision. And left home for school and met my life partner, not to mention a lot of my friends that are still my very best friends to this day. 

This one decision made the life I have today possible. And I want you to think about that. As you're listening. And maybe as you move through your day today, how one decision can change the entire course of your life. 

Last night. I was thinking, as I was talking to my husband, Matt. We were both looking at our two dogs who, if you know anything about me, you know, that I just adore these dogs with my whole heart. And I said, they're the best decision I ever made for us. And we both agreed. I was definitely the one who wanted to get them.

This is a longer story, but I just knew that we were meant to get them when we moved out to California and I was, I had like a single track focus. I just. I knew they were for us. And I am so thankful that I listened to that calling and that knowing. 

So after I said to Matt that you know, that our dogs are the best decision I ever made for us, I started to think about other decisions I've made from an intuitive or a knowing place. Pursuing a relationship with Matt, who's my husband. Getting our dogs moving to California, buying our house. And to knowing that Matt should take that job offer in Austin what made all of this possible going away to college at GW, in Washington, DC, where I had. Maybe been once or never been, and just had a gut knowing that I was meant to go there. 

When I say intuition or deep knowing, I mean, I felt a deep calling to do each of those things. I had no idea why. And most of them seemed absolutely bonkers at the time. 

Who goes away to school because they have a hunch about ? Who finds their life partner one month into freshman year who moves across the country for some pie in the sky job opportunity that might end, and it did? Who gets two pups when they're 23 and 24 and barely making a living? Who buys a house that was at the very top of the budget? Who moves to a state that they've never been to for another job opportunity? And turns out we're still here at 12 years later. Who gets a hunch to follow their creative aspirations while undergoing chemo and is still doing that 12 years later? 

Each time, the decision seems so improbable. And I know the people around me thought that I slash we were taking unnecessary risks and were very likely to fail. But here I am 18 years into this wild journey of following my hunters and doing what makes my heart sing, and it is better than anything I could have imagined for myself. 

When I look back, I can really see all the things I made happen for myself and for my partnership. They did not just happen because I was lucky or because we were lucky. They happened because I was willing and open to alternative ideas, and all in, on tuning into my inner callings and going after what resonated with me, what made my heart sing, what I felt compelled to, even when it meant risking everything. 

Today I am thinking about. If I can create all of this, a life that I never dared to dream up- a truly amazing life- I can definitely create any work project that is on my heart. And so can you. 

I can know it is coming from that same inner knowing place or inner calling place as these life projects that I've mentioned when I feel a similar calling as I did to the other things I listed. Even when they seem weird or I feel unprepared or it seems improbable or just plain crazy. 

I can also see in retrospect that it is very normal for me to feel doubt. I felt doubt all along the way with those things that I mentioned, those life things. And sometimes even regret, like, what was I thinking?!? I never let that doubt stop me from showing up from an intentional place, feeling connected to why I made the choice I did, doing my part, showing up from a clean place and from love, supporting each idea as they were new and fragile -and sometimes that was for years. And I stayed with it even when I was freaking out. 

I can see that that is ALL that is required of me and anything I take on- just showing up, doing what I think is best, taking the action I know about right now, trusting and allowing it to unfold. And seeing where it takes me without an agenda. 

When I look back, I can see that I never once had conditions on the things that I am most proud of and love the most in my life. I never thought: 'this thing needs to pay off in X amount of time or else I quit'. I have never taken that attitude with anything that really mattered to me. I just chose what I thought was right, stayed the course, and kept showing up for it. 

And each of those has paid off, put that like, kind of in quotes, paid off, more than I ever imagined they would.  I figured it all out one step at a time and sometimes one painful step at a time. 

Of course it is normal -and I would say- an amazing thing to dream. To dream about where you want to be. I did: about my life with Matt and what that would look like, waking up with our dogs on Saturday morning, that's  like my favorite time of the week with them, what our house could become, what life might be like in Austin. Working for myself and creating a movement that changes the way creative women show up for themselves and their work. And the very first dream I went all in on, which was going to college in DC.   

All that is required is bravery to step off the expected path and keep showing up, trusting, and doing what you know to do one step at a time. And what is so cool is that the path that has unfolded is a MILLION TIMES BETTER than what I would have dreamed up if I'd made a plan from the outset and just followed it. 

Like if I had had that elusive HOW plan that we all want of every step that we need to do so that we can ensure success.  

Seriously, let me repeat that. The path that has unfolded is a million times cooler than anything I could have dreamed up if I had had my way and could see a HOW plan with every step outlined to ensure that I would be successful from the outset. 

I really want both of us to remember that. All of the time that we spend wishing for a very clear HOW, a clear plan on how to do each step, is actually limiting the potential, our potential and the potential of the project or whatever we might be working on. It turns out so much bigger and better, and mind-blowingly special when we allow the path to unfold. And when we show up and meet the path and when we continue to grow and evolve, while we are walking that path. 

So if you're anything like me, and you are constantly, or I should say your brain is constantly, like, I really just wish I knew how to do this, or I just, I really wish I could see where this was going so then I could, you know, make contingency plans and feel more confident and feel like I know what I'm doing. 

I hope you'll remember this- that having a plan can actually be quite limiting. Because it narrows our focus to just following the plan, rather than doing what we know and showing up and allowing it to unfold and go in directions that we could have potentially never seen from the outset. If we had a very narrow focus, like in the horizon, in the distance about where we thought we had to go. 

That's what I have for you today. I'm so glad you were here and that we get to walk our paths together. See you next time. Same time, same place. Bye. For now.  

 

 
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