Episode 05: Does your project want to be your friend?

Join me this week as I teach you how your passion project (or art practice, business, idea) is like any relationship – and to discover if you’re currently being a ‘good friend’ to your project. If you aren’t, then this episode is for you!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How your passion project (or art practice, idea, business, fill in whatever you’re working on right now) is like a relationship with a cherished friend
  • The most important thing you need to do to have your project (/art practice, business, etc.) flourish

If you want to learn how to make your passion project idea a REAL THING, click here and sign up to get the Creative Momentum workbook. You’ll learn how to plan your passion project in seven easy steps.

If you enjoy listening, please subscribe and leave a review. It would mean the world to me.

x, Jen

Full episode transcript below:

Welcome to today's episode. Does your project want to be your friend? Kind of funny. I know.

Recently I've been offering my clients this question. Does your project want to be your friend? The answer to this question tells us so much about how you are showing up for your work/ business/ passion project/ the project that you're currently daydreaming about.

Let's break it down. Your project/ craft/ business/ fill in the blank is like any relationship you have with another person. So if your craft/ project /business is like any relationship you have. Are you treating it like you would a cherished friendship that you want to last? That is a mic drop question. If you're not treating your business like a cherished friendship then how are you treating it? Take a minute and answer that question. It's a super revealing question. Are you treating your project, your business, your craft, even your idea, by making a lot of demands and telling it to hurry up so you can get what you want? If you treated another person like that, how long would you be in a relationship with them for?

The reality is that we wouldn't approach another person that way if our goal was a cherished friendship, because it wouldn't work. Especially not if it's something that we want to cultivate to build on, to bring a lot of care to, and to have a long relationship with them. Let's imagine you treated, talked to, thought and an approached a cherished friend the way that you currently do your work, your business, your idea. Bring to mind, whatever is relevant for you here. Would she be your friend for much longer? Would she want to continue being your friend? Would she want to spend time around you?

In my work with clients, I've noticed a tendency to be graspy, demanding and transactional towards our work. That's not easy for me to say, but it's true. And let me just say, I can join you on this. My default mode is to expect a transactional exchange with my work inputs too. It's so human for us to be this way. If you're beating yourself up, I want you to stop that right now. Come back to the essence of what I'm teaching here. I don't want you to use this information, or anything that I teach or share against yourself, ever. When things come up for you see them as an opportunity to reflect and contemplate, to discover what your default mode might be. Curious about it and decide if you want to change it. If you don't have the results in your work craft business idea, again insert whatever is relevant for you here, that you desire, I encourage you to really sit with this question this week. Notice how you are currently engaging with your work /craft idea/ art practice/ business. Whatever's relevant for you.

Question if you are being the friend that you want to be. Be honest with yourself and tell yourself the truth. If you hear any: yeah, but... that's a sign that you have the opportunity to excavate some more. What are you expecting? What are you putting pressure on? What are you demanding? Why are you doing that? And what is the outcome likely to be? If you continue doing that. I strongly believe that when we truly cherish our ideas, projects, businesses, art practices that our care and trust allows them to flourish. It has been my experience and I've witnessed it in my creative peers and my friends and my clients. Having a death grip on what you want when you want it actually pushes it further away from you. So instead the opposite is can you cultivate a friendship? Can you cultivate care? Can you show up for your idea for your practice, for your work? With giving energy with love with generosity and trusting that you will receive a return on it. It might just not be transactional, like when you expect it to be.

So, which one of these do you want to choose? You always get to decide. And this week, I encourage you to spend some time with this question: does your project want to be your friend?

I am so glad you are here and that we get to walk our paths together. See you next time. Same time, same place. Bye. For now.

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